Invite the Negatives

This week was hard. That is the best way I know how to describe it. If you know me at all, you know that I feel with all of my being, and I took a beating this week. Not only did I have personal issues, but I had hard work decisions, family messiness, and (as we all had to experience) the slaughtering of children in a school… again. This week was just hard.

So, I sit here trying to decide what I want to write about. What piece of life will bring the happiest ending to a not so happy week. I don’t think I have processed any of them enough to find some powerful wisdom to end my blog with. All of them still hurt. And maybe that is the point for today; sometimes life is just hard and there are no magic words that make it better. That is okay.

I feel that in our society we are apt to think that the only thing we should want to feel is joy and if we don’t feel joy we have somehow failed. As Emma Gonzalez so gracefully proclaimed, “We call BS!” It is okay to feel upset and angry and sad. In fact, it is 100% natural. It took me a very long time to accept that. We need to care for ourselves by fully accepting all parts of ourselves.

People often think of self-care as the equivalent to treat yo’ self and that misses the mark completely.  Don’t get me wrong, I also think it is important to treat oneself every once in awhile… I have the Dooney and Bourke purse to prove it. However, to me self-care is sitting with yourself, everyday, for at least a moment, and checking-in on your feelings and allowing yourself to wholly embrace those feelings. You can also do this in the bathtub if you so prefer. I encourage all of you to take 5 minutes out of your day today and just feel everything you are meant to feel, without telling any emotions to go away. You can’t have positives without negatives. THAT’S SCIENCE.

I would like to end this post with a poem I wrote when I sat with all of my emotions, after hearing about the Parkland School Shooting.

Hurt me again.

Not because I like the pain,

But because pain is all I know.

When the gun shots sound like melodies,

The man’s force is a gentle hug.

I am taught that violence is not the answer

And yet pain is all I know.

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